Dumb Questions

There is absolutely such a thing as a dumb question. I want to smack lecturers who spout nonsense about there not being any dumb questions because they probably only encourage more dumb questions. Some day when I'm in charge, I'm going to call out the dumb questions and compliment the good ones.

Here are the categories of dumb questions as determined by me, most important first. Most bad questions fall into multiple categories.

1. Questions with the objective of pointing out how smart you are.
   Q: As I'm a Ph.D. in marketing, I was wondering how this applied to synthesizing global model market regressions.
   A: This is a real reverse psychology kind of moment, because now I think you're a pompous idiot.
   
2. Questions that aren't questions.
   Q: This applies to local model market progressions.
   A: Thanks for not asking a question.
   
3. Questions that ramble on.
   Q: I sat here thinking to myself, "Myself," I thought to myself, "How do you suppose this topic deals with some similar other topic?" Because, you see, other topics in the blah blah blah...
   A: Hey! Who paid you to give this lecture?
   
4. Boring questions.
   Q: Could you could repeat that middle, boring part of your lecture?
   A: No.
   

Good questions are

1. Short.
2. Interesting.

So what do you do when you find yourself in an audience asking stupid questions? I have several strategies, none of which work. Also, all of them are a bad idea unless you, like me, have the need-attention gene, and don't really mind being controversial. And by controversial, I mean refreshing to people who hate dumb questions, and and asshole to everyone else.

1. Call out the questioner. Around minute two of a question say, "Hey, let Ms. Whatever teach the lecture."
   
2. Plead with the lecturer. "Do you suppose we could move on?" or "Could we do one question and answer period at the end of the lecture?"
3. Talk with the questioner after. This really never works.
   
4. Ask good questions. Actually, this is probably the only one that does any good. It's not because it encourages the people to ask better questions, rather, it just makes less time for dumb questions. It's really hard to come up with good questions though, so good luck there.
   

What's missing?

In Art

I have a book of short stories by Tom Paine and in one of the stories he describes a film maker working for the state news station in a communist country. The only way this dude can come up with to be subversive is to make a film with happy people and no mention of communism. He doesn't get away with it, and the film never airs, but that got me thinking. You can probably say a lot in your art through what you exclude. How subtle. I've probably seen lots of paintings, films, stories, and so on that conspicuously left something out, and I completely missed it. Hence, I can't really think of many examples. If you come up with something good, put it in the comments. You'll sound extremely smart. I guess it's because you understand the work so well that you know know what's supposed to be there, and therefore what's intentionally missing.

You: I thought it interesting that he didn't mention sex at all. Do you suppose he was trying to make a point?
Me: You're blowing my mind.

In Relationships

If you know somebody really well, you can notice when they conspicuously don't do something. I understand exactly one person at that level. I instantly pick up on when she's upset in how she doesn't smile at a stupid joke, doesn't chat, or doesn't make eye contact. She can do the same for me, even when I try to hide it.

You: Wait, you're not complaining about that ice cream truck. Are you high?
Me: Are you psychic?

Back story: In case you've never been to my fair city, the ice cream trucks blare the same fucking song all summer long. And by summer I mean February to October. Sure if you grew up with it, it could be nostalgic, or if you haven't heard it much it can be quaint. But many immigrants like myself plant a seed of deep seated hatred for the ice cream trucks that slowly grows into a mighty forest of loathing by the spajillionth time we've heard the same jingle.

In Science

I don't really travel in science circles these days as I have to make money. I'll confess, I wrote that to tease any PhD-ers who read my blog. Rest assured that it was out of jealousy. Anyway, when I did, I was always really impressed with the folks who understood the subject so well they could critique papers based on what the author forgot to take into account, or what they didn't discuss, or what related papers they clearly didn't read.

Also sciency but less esoterically, we all have something called a confirmation bias. When we have an idea about how something works, we tend to only look for evidence that supports our idea, and neglect evidence that disproves it.

I have a friend who never learned to ride a bike as a kid, so I took her out for a lesson. We went to a rubber track and worked our way around and around until we eventually got to the point where she could mostly stay up on her own for almost a full lap. There was a soccer game that day, so lots of dads were hanging out. They cracked me up. They had completely random, sometimes conflicting advice. "You HAVE to keep your head up, looking strait ahead! Don't even look down a little bit! That's how I taught my son, and he did great." "Keep your eyes on the road, otherwise you'll fall over." "Hold on to the seat to help her balance, then she'll learn faster." "Don't hold on to the seat, she'll learn slower." Here's the thing. All these dads managed to teach their kids to ride bikes. They got some idea on how they should do it, they tried it out, and it worked! Hence, their way must be the correct way to do it. What's missing? They didn't try anything else, and now I'm blogging about how silly they sounded.